Am I Good Enough? Every Parents’ Big Question!

A key aspect of good enough parenting is building a strong and nurturing relationship with your child. It’s about creating a loving and supportive environment where your child feels valued, heard, and understood. In the journey of parenting, striving for perfection can be exhausting and counterproductive.

Here our resident expert, Charlotte from Born to Bond talks more about this.

Being a parent can be a beautiful and rewarding journey filled with love and joy, but it also comes with its fair share of challenges. Many parents have high expectations of themselves and constantly question whether they are “good enough” parents. In this blog, we’ll explore what good enough parenting is (hint – it’s less demanding than you probably think!) and why embracing good enough is a valuable approach for nurturing happy, healthy babies and enjoying family life.

The notion of good enough parenting originated from the work of Donald Winnicott, a paediatrician and psychoanalyst. It emphasises that healthy relationships form when consistent and loving care is provided from caregivers to babies. Perfection is not required: mistakes and imperfections are inevitable and actually necessary for well-rounded development. This idea starts at birth; newborn babies need near-constant care and attention and doing our best is likely to include some instances were we cannot meet the needs of our babies instantly. This might be because of conflicting demands, for example, needing the toilet or the doorbell ringing, or because you and your baby have not yet learnt to understand and communicate your needs to each other.

A key aspect of good enough parenting is building a strong and nurturing relationship with your child. It’s about creating a loving and supportive environment where your child feels valued, heard, and understood. This involves active listening, offering emotional support, and being present in their lives. Remember, it’s not about being a perfect parent; it’s about being a loving and attentive one.

Within good enough parenting it is important to prioritise looking after your own needs and being compassionate to yourself about any errors. When you prioritize your mental, emotional, and physical health, you become a more patient and present parent. Give yourself permission to take breaks, seek support from loved ones, and engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation. Remember, you cannot pour from an empty cup. Your children will also see this and model their own thinking and actions upon it.

Good enough parenting embraces the idea that mistakes are an opportunity for growth, both for you and your child. It’s important to model resilience and self-compassion by acknowledging your own imperfections and demonstrating that it’s okay to make mistakes. Sometimes this might be an imperfection in your own parenting, for example, raising your voice to a toddler or being unable to understand what your baby needs. After the event, it can be helpful to acknowledge your imperfection to your little one and make amends if needed.

In the parenting journey, striving for perfection can be exhausting and counterproductive. Embracing good enough parenting allows you to let go of unrealistic expectations and focus on building a loving and nurturing relationship with your child.

Remember, you are doing your best, and your love and genuine efforts are more than enough to raise happy and resilient children.

Charlotte x